@ 5:30PM
Hello again. I'm not sure if anyone besides Ria is reading this but I figure if anything it's nice to have a record of my thoughts.
I'm closing in on a week of my little experiment. So far the digital declutter has mostly gone smoothly. When my health is okay, I've settled into a bit of a rhythm. In the mornings, I read lighter stuff like comics or listen to an audiobook. After lunch, I settle in and read nonfiction which can take me a bit. After we take Biscuit for a walk, I'll switch to a fiction book to give myself a break. After dinner, Ria and I take a walk and then take Biscuit out. After he's had his evening meal, I usually read more comics if Ria wants to come read with me or listen to more of an audiobook and crochet if she doesn't. I've completed 7 books so far - most comics, to be fair, but still. When my health isn't okay, I spend most of the day meditating so I can be present with my illnesses.
I can feel the internalized ableism rearing it's head as I write that. I think that's part of why I've clung to the internet. At least on the internet it's easier to convince myself I'm doing something "useful" or "productive" even if it's really not. When I take the time to read, that's really just for me. And it's tough because if I were well, it'd be a kind of luxury. But with not being well, it's more a matter of not going crazy being cooped up the way I am. It's not often I feel up to leaving nor do I usually want to - the world isn't always the kindest to those of us who still have to mask. People don't visit. So I'm quite isolated on the whole. Books continue to be good for that. As the experiment progresses, I'm less convinced that the internet is.
I'm listening to The Correspondent by Virginia Evans on Libby and loving it. It's been reminding me how much I miss having people I regularly exchanged letters with. I've found it odd that even with more time away from screens in a day I'm still resisting writing letters to people. I used to read those "Routines of Writers" and I remember seeing several would spend their evenings writing replies to letters they'd recieved and that always sounded really pleasant. So I'm not totally sure why I'm delaying writing letters. I worry it might be perfectionism - I don't know that I really know what people want ot read in letters. They're kind of a difficult format to guage to what degree the page should be spent asking after and responding to the other and how much should be spent speaking about yourself. And there's not really a culture of writing letters anymore. It's rare I get a reply, even from people who I know mean well.
The USPS losing letters and long delays don't help either. Fewer of my letters have been getting to their recipients and they've taken much longer too. I know it's not their fault really - they've been begging to new equipment for a decade now and they've had so much of their work hamstrung by people trying to hurt it for corporate interests. But still, since no one else delivers letters, it makes me a little weary.
I wish I could convince more people I know to get ham radio licenses. I think it would be so neat to be listening to my nearest repeater and hear a friend from ages away pop on using EchoLink or the like. I think I'd have an easier time chatting with people I already know than some of the hams around. They're nice people on the whole but I can't get the hang of the social norms they use and they all seem simultaneously excited someone like me (AFAB, queer) is interested in the hobby and not sure how to talk to me. So my guess is the feeling is mutual. Still, I love listening to the radio as I'm reading. I'll lay the book down and listen to their back and forth for a while, get some gossip, some news. It's usually the only way I'll hear a voice other than my own or Ria's in a given day and I think it helps on some level.
I think it's funny. I felt pretty comfortable doing college radio, which more people listened to, in part because I understood what my role was. But with ham radio there's no real role most of the time so I find myself freezing up on the mic more than I would like. I wonder if finally getting on HF and trying to log contacts would help me any. Those exchanges seem quicker usually.
With reading more, I seem to be having more back and neck trouble. I've almost thrown out my back a few times. I'm spending the same number of hours in bed but I guess the position puts more stress on those muscles. I want to see if I can try out my mom's book stand to see if I like it enough to get one of my own. I didn't think reading a book could injure me but alas, they're heavy and I am probably somewhat deconditioned.
In case it's of interest to anyone, I am keeping my Storygraph well updated in the absence of social media. It's satisfying to see the numbers go up. I also worry I'll forget what I finished by the end of the month so I don't really want to wait. Even with that my time on the internet has stayed below an hour each day so far and it's not felt like too much of a strain so far. You can check it out here.
I hope anyone reading this is doing okay. May you have some unexpected moment of joy today.